It is a phrase that is often heard in the world: "you are you're own worst critic."
Why bring this up?
Today I taught my third lesson (3/8...almost halfway done!). It started off well enough and then I felt it take a swan dive into left field. It crashed and burned. Then managed to crash again in Hawaii, only to fall into the mouth of an exploding volcano.
Okay, maybe that is a wee bit dramatic, but suffice it to say that it wasn't my best lesson so far. I have the energy and the excitement to keep things going, but it just wasn't going the way that I had planned. My drilling for pronunciation was poor, the boardwork was confusing, the tasks were not clear, and the freer practice wasn't promoting the amount of speaking practice I had intended.
After the lessons we had feedback. We boarded it, meaning that we all wrote the positive and negative things that happened for each of the three lessons on the board. It was was amazing to me: only two negative things were written (and then I went up and added more before Sophie came back).
It was astounding to see the amount of positive feedback from the lesson. The things that I saw in such horrible light were not that bad. My classmates were supportive and helpful, showing me that the most important things was accomplished: the students learned. During the session Sophie turned to me and asked me what went well in the lesson. I gave my little 2 cents (it hadn't sunk in that people actually enjoyed my lesson yet). And then she asked the million pound question: what would I have changed?
Yep, as you can imagine that opened up a Mary soapbox, staring my own stupidity and self-doubt. And then Sophie looked at me and said: "your self-evaluation was quite harsh." Um, yep. I need to improve!
"True, but it is important to see what happened in the lesson and see what you have done well. You are your own worst critic."
It is so true! I want to do my best and succeed in the CELTA course. I hold myself up to a high standard academically, a standard (with the exception of 2 years of my undergrad) that has helped me achieve good marks. I don't want to settle. I want things to be a push, a struggle to get better. Yes, of course I enjoy the easy things! I love sitting down and chilling on Netflix or reading a good book. I love to mess around and be completely unproductive at times, but that doesn't mean that is my entire life.
MY LIFE is to be better, to want to succeed and improve. My life is to push myself and not quit (I have done enough of that in my time). My life is to make a difference, to help people be happy. My life is that desire to be productive, that desire to show something for it.
It hasn't always been the case, but I want that to be MY LIFE.
But, it is wise to remember the good things. I can't go through this entire CELTA experience telling myself I am terrible or that I can't speak English. I can't focus on the negative in each lesson because that will overshadow the positive. Yes, it is good to seek constructive criticism, but it is another to bask in it.
Why bring this up?
Today I taught my third lesson (3/8...almost halfway done!). It started off well enough and then I felt it take a swan dive into left field. It crashed and burned. Then managed to crash again in Hawaii, only to fall into the mouth of an exploding volcano.
Okay, maybe that is a wee bit dramatic, but suffice it to say that it wasn't my best lesson so far. I have the energy and the excitement to keep things going, but it just wasn't going the way that I had planned. My drilling for pronunciation was poor, the boardwork was confusing, the tasks were not clear, and the freer practice wasn't promoting the amount of speaking practice I had intended.
After the lessons we had feedback. We boarded it, meaning that we all wrote the positive and negative things that happened for each of the three lessons on the board. It was was amazing to me: only two negative things were written (and then I went up and added more before Sophie came back).
It was astounding to see the amount of positive feedback from the lesson. The things that I saw in such horrible light were not that bad. My classmates were supportive and helpful, showing me that the most important things was accomplished: the students learned. During the session Sophie turned to me and asked me what went well in the lesson. I gave my little 2 cents (it hadn't sunk in that people actually enjoyed my lesson yet). And then she asked the million pound question: what would I have changed?
Yep, as you can imagine that opened up a Mary soapbox, staring my own stupidity and self-doubt. And then Sophie looked at me and said: "your self-evaluation was quite harsh." Um, yep. I need to improve!
"True, but it is important to see what happened in the lesson and see what you have done well. You are your own worst critic."
It is so true! I want to do my best and succeed in the CELTA course. I hold myself up to a high standard academically, a standard (with the exception of 2 years of my undergrad) that has helped me achieve good marks. I don't want to settle. I want things to be a push, a struggle to get better. Yes, of course I enjoy the easy things! I love sitting down and chilling on Netflix or reading a good book. I love to mess around and be completely unproductive at times, but that doesn't mean that is my entire life.
MY LIFE is to be better, to want to succeed and improve. My life is to push myself and not quit (I have done enough of that in my time). My life is to make a difference, to help people be happy. My life is that desire to be productive, that desire to show something for it.
It hasn't always been the case, but I want that to be MY LIFE.
But, it is wise to remember the good things. I can't go through this entire CELTA experience telling myself I am terrible or that I can't speak English. I can't focus on the negative in each lesson because that will overshadow the positive. Yes, it is good to seek constructive criticism, but it is another to bask in it.
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