silence is golden

Today I had a breakthrough of sorts. I’ve been wanting to try a “silent lesson” ever since Sophie (one of my CELTA tutors) told me about it. Because I teach a group of first graders, it was a debate whether or not to try it. I’m still learning to love the group of students and figure out how the heck I am supposed to teach them. There are moments that are shining and there are moments that are crappy. How would a group of 6-year-olds respond to a class when the teacher doesn’t talk? Would I just lose control of the class completely? How could I manage teaching English without speaking English?

Well, today I got my answer.

We follow a workbook (“LWB”) to teach English. Because I teach the high-level English class, they go through it pretty fast, which leaves (at times) a lot of extra space to fill in the 40 minutes. I have been trying to spice things up and get the students to learn how to learn. Some of the students want the information handed to them on a platter, while others breeze through because what we are doing is not a challenge. I want to create an autonomous learning atmosphere, I want the students to learn to be responsible for their own learning.

The last two days have been lessons about context clues: how to understand a word by looking at pictures of surrounding words. We already did come context clue week last week, so I didn’t want to do the same thing. I had an idea about doing Pictionary, but that seemed a bit blasé and dull on its own. About an hour before the class, I thought about a Stomp presentation that I saw when I was in middle school. In the presentation, my brother led a group of people in a variety of clapping and stomping patterns without speaking—it was absolute genius. I thought that would be interesting to try with my class, but how could I incorporate it into English?

Context clues. It was a moment of pure brilliance. What better way to teach context clues than having the students figure out what to do from my actions? What better way to show them that context clues don’t necessarily mean the obvious? Well, I admit that it was a work in progress when the class started, but I committed to the “silent lesson”.

The students know to start an exercise called the DOL each day when they come in. The best tables get “stars” (magnets I stick on the board next to the group names) and at the end of class, the group with the most gets an extra stamp in their LWB. For every ten stamps they receive, they get a jewel. For every three jewels, they get to look into my prize bag and choose a prize. (At this moment, all I have is the bag….haha!) I know it sounds a bit much, but the students love it and they want those stamps!

So as class began today, I watched and waited as they did the DOL. The only words I spoke at the beginning were to instruct them to put the DOL away and “sit nicely”. When everyone was ready, the silent lesson began. I started by going to one group of students and clapping twice. The whole class did it, so I motioned again for the single group to do it. After a few tries, they got it. I went around the room and assigned (without speaking, motions only) different clapping patterns. When all of the patterns were assigned, I stood at the front and pointed to each group individually. It took a minute and some of the students didn’t really get it, but it was an overall success.

Then I had the students stand up and get into a line in the back of the room. Again, I did different motions to show clapping and stomping patterns. When I motioned for the students to sit down, Mary—one of the students—asked me why I wasn’t talking. I merely smiled and had the class sit down. I pulled out my bag of chopsticks (each chopstick has a name of a student on it) and pulled one at random. It was a sweet boy named Ray that was chosen, what a cutie. He came up and I whispered in his ear to draw a cat on the iPad (which is projected onto the screen). I motioned for the class to look at the screen and call out when they knew what it was. When he was done drawing, I had a few more students come up and draw. Man, they were doing so well! Even though I was randomly picking the names from the bag, they would sit nicely each time in hopes that I would pick them.

After a successful round of silent Pictionary, I showed the students the page to turn to in the LWB. They opened their workbooks and began working furiously. In order to make sure that everyone was on the same page and doing the work correctly, I selected students that were already done to come up and answer a question. Once the LWB material was done, I did another small round of clapping patterns.

Finally, with a few minutes left in class, I spoke. The students were a bit shocked, I think. I asked them if they knew what to do today and how did they know. They told me that I gave them instructions and showed them what to do, that way they could do it on their own. It was a very satisfying response! For that, each student took home a fruit snack.

What a lesson today! I was nervous and unsure of how a silent lesson would play out, but it worked. Hey, it could have failed and that would have been a lesson learned as well. It has shown me that it is okay to experiment in the classroom with different methods. These students have long days in this school and honestly, it can get boring for them. I think mixing it up and doing unique things in class will not only help the students enjoy their learning, but help me improve my teaching skills.

For being one heck of a talker, silence was the best teacher today.

hidden gems

These past two weeks have been different. This last week showed steady improvement and better air quality. The week before, however, was one of the hardest weeks I have ever experienced. Without all the grungy details here, suffice it to say that I felt defeated, deflated, disheartened, and discouraged. I was ready to be done with my job, constantly wondering why I thought I had the stuff in order to teach first grade. I wasn't any good at it, so why keep trying?

The kids showed me why. I started seeing hidden gems in my day, one of those being homework. A good laugh is healthy for the soul, especially my soul. Anyone that knows me knows that I love to laugh and do it more often than necessary. I haven't had a lot of good laughing here, so these gems gave me some good moments.

The Frozen phenomenon wasn't just in the good ol' US of A. Chinese kids, especially the girls, are obsessed with it! Angela is one such girl. Her homework, which was to write 5 sentences about yourself, reads: "I like Elsa. I from china. My birthday is on july ten. I like watching Frozen." What I love? Forget capitalizing the country she is from, but make sure Frozen gets the important stress.  

I don't know why Harry, who doesn't play with dolls, wrote "My bad doll has a small house." Um, okay!

Oh, Jerry. He is a good kid and is one of the few that has the guts to sound out a word before asking me. What a champ! I love this: "I play wife my studet. I am skeard to." 

This particular day for homework was to write about your first day of school. Dove, the tiniest first grader ever to exist, obviously thought that the first day of school wasn't too thrilling when she wrote "I sleep on the desk." They don't have nap time. 

This is Jerry again. Goodness, I just love this kid. He is a bit of a lone wolf and tries so hard. This assignment was to write 5 sentences about your best friend. He wrote: "My favorite friend is my furry blanket. I hug my furry blanket at night. There is a chicken on my furry blanket. It's blue all the around the blanket. The other side of the blanket is not furry." He drew that sweet picture of himself with his furry blanket. Not gonna lie, it brought a tear when I read that his favorite friend is a blanket. 

By far, this is the funniest of the bunch. The assignment was to write 6 sentences, one with each of the spelling words. The spelling words this past week were focusing on the digraph ck: rack, quack, tack, etc. YoYo's best sentence: "She has a great rack."

Sometimes you wonder if the students know something you don't. Tim wrote "You will get sacked by tomorrow morning." Well, I didn't get fired....

Another winner. "I tack Regis to the wall." Hum, this was written by Ben, whose best friend in class is Regis. 

These kids are showing me so many things and I am learning a lot. Most importantly, I am learning to love them. Teaching first grade is an experience, an event. It is not easy and by the end of the day I am properly knackered. But if I remember to look for these hidden gems, I think it will help me along. 

it's okay to be culture shocked

It took me the last little bit to decide if I wanted to write this or not. It is oft times embarrassing to admit to a weakness, especially when that weakness is also a strength. I have always considered myself to be a rather open-minded individual. I am capable to seeing multiple points of view, though I hold strongly (sometimes too strongly) to my own opinions. I love this world and because of that, I find myself capable of seeing different views from various cultures and understand how they work. I am able to understand different economies, policies, religions, and a myriad of other cultural aspects because I have a deep desire to understand others. Basically, I am darn proud of never really going through culture shock.

culture shock (n) – the feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes

There are four phases to culture shock:

1)     Honeymoon. It is during this period that the old and new cultures are view in a romantic light—seeing through the rose-colored glasses. It is during this period that you are fascinated, associating every event or moment with positivity.

2)     Negotiation. This is the period when the differences between the old and new cultures become apparent, thus creating anxiety. This is when you begin to perceive the hardness, the difficulties, the frustrations. Suddenly you take extreme notice of language barriers, cultural differences, even food.

3)     Adjustment. This is a period when you grow accustomed to the new culture and develop routines. Instead of anxiety and frustrations, you begin to focus on living again, looking at what you can do normally within the new culture.

4)     Mastery. This stage is debatable, as there are many who would call is “going native”. I disagree. Mastery means that you are able to participate fully and comfortably in the new culture, acting as if you were in the old culture. It is often referred to as “bicultural”.

There is also reverse culture shock, which is one returns to the old (or home) culture and goes through what is described above.

So, there it is: laid out in black and white. Culture shock.

Now, I say that I have never really gone through culture shock and that is true. I have mentioned before that I lived in Cairo, Egypt to study Arabic and had the opportunity to spend time in other Middle Eastern countries. Being American, it is logical to assume that the culture shock would be massive because it isn’t exactly a horizontal transition. But, I didn’t really have any issues. Why? I was prepared to not really enjoy it.

In preparation for the study abroad, the Arabic professors spent 8 weeks drilling what the “real” Egypt, the “real” Middle East is like. Of course I had studied this part of the world for the previous two years, so I felt more prepared, but they emphasized the importance of not romanticizing this place. I still clearly remember Dil, the head of the Arabic department, saying that “it is a grungy, dirty, loud, dusty place.” And he was right, it was most definitely those things, but it didn’t surprise me. Because I felt like I knew what to expect, I knew that I couldn’t romanticize everything. I was able to find the beauty, dive into the culture, and get to know the people. It was magnificent. My love for that place came instantly. Was I ready to go home at the end? Of course, but if you offered me a ticket to Egypt tomorrow, I would go.

England was very much the same in terms of feeling prepared to go through culture shock and never experiencing it. I love it there, too. Belfast for CELTA this summer was also wonderful.

But, China is not the same. I learned Mandarin as part of preparation to go to England and I felt like I would have more of a connection to China. Why? I have no idea, just because I guess. I have Chinese friends, Taiwanese friends, and know loads of people that have lived, studied, and worked in China and Taiwan. I have been told countless times how great it is and how much I would love China when I went.

And guess what? I don’t love it here.

I don’t hate it, I don’t love it. I like it fine, though I have experienced what culture shock is for the first time. It hit me full force and came fast and hard, thought it took time to realize that culture shock was what I was going through. The first two days were wondrous, trying to decipher the characters (like chukou for exit) and understand the conversations happening around me. Then came the negotiation. I realized the people were staring at me because I look different, though Shanghai does have a higher expat population so seeing a foreigner isn’t rare here. But people look. I don’t like sticking out. One of my favorite things about the Middle East was that I blended in. I had people ask me what part of Egypt I was from and I found it so complimentary. When I was in Jerusalem, I had natives speak to me in Arabic and Hebrew, assuming that I was a Palestinian or Jew respectively. It was great being part of the people. Here in China, I definitely can’t blend in with the crowd and that is hard for me. I am also pretty tall, so I stand (on average) a head, if not two, taller than the crowd. 

It is frustrating not being able to read signs or understand the conversations around me. It is hard not being able to fully communicate with people. I don’t like not being able to read the ingredient lists because I need to know if things have wheat in them. The air is hot and humid, I live in a state on constant stickiness. The pollution has been so thick on some mornings that I hardly can see a block ahead of me. Chinese people do things differently, even how they get on subways and it is not the easiest to get used to. Shanghai has 24 million plus people in it and on most days, it feels like it.

And then I felt guilty about everything. Why didn’t I love it here? What is wrong with me? I spent much of my time wondering what I was doing wrong. I felt bad about how I was feeling. I had a Chinese person tell me, “ah, so now you love it here” and I couldn’t respond with a fervent “yes”, so I just said that I liked it and avoided further conversation about the topic. This change hasn’t been easy, but I felt and continue to feel that I should be doing this better.

During this time it didn’t hit me that I was experiencing culture shock. That is an even more important aspect that is never mentioned when reading about culture shock: you need to recognize those feelings. There is no reason to feel bad or guilty that you are not immediately in love with a place and realize that what you are probably feeling is culture shock.

I told these feelings to a friend of mine and she told me something brilliant. She said that now that I recognize my feelings of culture shock that it will be easier to move forward. She also brought up the point that I may never love the whole package that is living in China, but I will find things that I do love. And she’s right. I am looking forward to next summer when my time here will be over, but I hope that between now and then I will find a love of China. Not all of China, mind you, but a love for its people because that is what truly makes a country great.

That’s my point today. It is okay to be cultured shocked. It is okay not to love everything about every place you ever visit. I plan on teaching in various other nations and I don’t expect that I will love everything about those places because there are things I don’t enjoy about where I am from. There are things I didn’t enjoy in Egypt, Jordan, Israel, England, Scotland, and Ireland. We aren’t perfect and it is unreasonable (and really, just plain idiotic) to hold ourselves to a ridiculous standard. It’s okay to have varied feelings, it’s okay to have moments where all you want is a massive bowl of ice cream (mint ice cream, just in case you were wondering).

I am grateful for this time that I have to be in China. I am grateful for this experience because it is teaching me loads of things about myself and the world around me. I don’t expect that these next 10 months will be roses and daisies now that I have had this realization, though I know that I can put this knowledge to good use.

Cheers! Here’s to being cultured shocked. 

my first 100(ish) days

It is common in United States history books to talk about what a new president did in the first 100 days of his term. I guess that is a lot cooler than talking about the first 3 months, 100 days has a much better ring to it. Anyway, I have been teaching at SSBS now since last Wednesday and trust me when I tell you that working with posh first graders, first graders that have never really attended school and are usually the only child at home, the first week (almost) might as well be 100 days.

Before I left the States, my grandma gave me an early birthday card. She told me that she wanted to give it to me before my "triumphant entry into China". Buah! I don't know if I would call this first week triumphant.

Now, before you think that this is completely miserable sounding and wondering why I am writing this in the first place, please bear with me for a moment.

This is one of the hardest things that I have ever done. It is exhausting mentally, emotionally, and physically. It is basically glorified babysitting in these first few weeks, as other teachers have told me. These kids haven't had a lot of experience of hearing "no" or having strict routines or rules. Some of them are under huge amounts of pressure from home (seriously, these first graders have more textbooks and folders than I did my first year of university!). It is an interesting dynamic to deal with. And mix that with the fact that they are 5-7 years old and some of their English abilities are very low. Oh, and add a Chinese co-teacher to that mix. And two snack times (which the school provides). And lunch time in the classroom (that the school also provides, complete with soup) because there isn't enough room in the cafeteria for the first grade classes.

Whew. That is the situation.

We have a joke in the primary school about "no smiles until Christmas". Right now I feel like I am one of the meanest teachers alive! For example, I have shown my kids and have had them practice how to come into the classroom (because the students switch up teachers for different courses, which also makes it difficult) and prepare for class. Today, my English class happened to be right after lunch and activity time. To say that my class was a total failure doesn't quite cover it. They were wound up and nuts! I made them line back up and do the routine again, as well as telling them their behavior was disrespectful and some of the parents would hear about it (which they did....that is a story for another time...).

So yeah, the whole mentality is to start mean and get nice. I remember that some of my favorite teachers in school were the ones that had rules and knew how to maintain control in the classroom. Now this is first grade, I can't expect utter silence at all times. They are busybodies, they wiggle and jiggle all over the place. At the moment I am trying to find my grove. The last few days have consisted of in-poor-taste lectures and my loud voice, which actually made my throat hurt today (which is saying a lot considering I have a naturally loud voice). Yeah, it isn't so great.

This year will be interesting. I find myself hoping that it goes by quickly so that I am better at my job and the students aren't so crazy. Is that a terrible thing to think right now? Maybe. But it is the reality of underestimating my opponent.